Comments on Cala - Transgender in Second Life: What does being Transgender in Second Life Mean?

Tell me about it when it comes to hate and abuse. ...

2008-01-15T13:49:18.355-08:00

Tell me about it when it comes to hate and abuse. I have a female avatar in second life that is constantly being harrassed by an ex gf in game that did not like my decesion to become a female. Her and her roleplaying friends in the forced fantasy sim's have made avatars to look like me and become prostitutes.Write horrible stories about me being raped and degraded. the clubs i used to go to after being told who i was began to make drag queen jokes from the staff. Come to my property and make comments. Still I walk around like i do with my new GF who knows all about me and dont mind a bit. Its a wild wild world out there isnt it? On the plus side I know who my real friends are as they accept this. there is a silver lining to every cloud. : )

Ah, I'm amazed I didn't read this yet. Fae, as usu...

2007-06-02T07:44:03.796-07:00

Ah, I'm amazed I didn't read this yet. Fae, as usual you put what I think into words. You are a voice for the voiceless[literally] in SL. I'm glad to know that myself and many others have a friend in you.

I know that I can be truly at home with you, truly myself around you, and that is something I am rarely able to experience in RL. SL is such a better life, and sometimes I feel bitter-sweet, because it's something I'll never be able to experience. If only such a Walden-ish society could exist RL.

About time you wrote a new entry. :) And an excel...

2007-05-20T11:06:37.423-07:00

About time you wrote a new entry. :) And an excellent entry it is. There is so much misunderstanding about what transgender is that it's important to have it spelled out from time to time. You have done a great service.

And I am so glad to be your friend!

Thanks for your kind words and attention, Otenth. ...

2007-05-17T13:47:39.885-07:00

Thanks for your kind words and attention, Otenth. I do hope that this is food for thought for a lot of people, and stimulates more supportive conversations. *hugs*

I have another close friend I was messaging with today who is concerned that she cannot post anonymously here but asked that her words be heard:

-- snip --

APPLAUSE

Thank you, Cala, for making me cry as I read this. For saying loudly what I haven't the courage to voice, and not making me feel ashamed.

When we read something, often we have an opinion, occasionally we are touched, and rarely, so very rarely, we feel that joyous and terrifying moment when the very core of our being is exposed in another's words. It's a powerful moment in which we feel very much alive, and connected, and less alone...

We realize that there are others out there that share our confusion, that know our pain, and that accept and love us for who and what we are.

What you wrote is not just good it's right, and that's what makes it powerful. Knowing that we are not alone is part of why SL is home, we can truly live there, and not just exist.

~M

-- end snip --

... and that expresses it better than I ever could. Second Life really is a Better Life- for many people.

Thank you for writing this, Cala. I'm glad that yo...

2007-05-17T04:48:15.905-07:00

Thank you for writing this, Cala. I'm glad that you're out there (in many senses!), making sure that there's a safe haven for people who need support and encouragement.

The broadness of your interpretation of wiki's definition and your list of subcategories has given me something to think about. I've been s Sister of Perpetual Indulgence, done drag, and have a female alt (who lives in Caledon, primarily). Each of which would appear on your list, but it had never occurred to me that they might be considered TG.

I guess for me (as you say, it's a self-identification!), the salient point is "gender-identity." When I was a Sister or in drag I didn't feel I was expressing a gender identity. I was certainly fooling around with gender expression and gender expectations, but it was a point with me that I wasn't wearing women's clothes, I was wearing *my* clothes. Since this was a political kind of interpretation about gender roles and stereotypes that wasn't very common among the gay bar crowd in the early 1980s, I often had interesting conversations.

My alt, now, is fully expressing a female gender, is fully shaped as a woman, and wears standard women's clothes. (In drag, I've never padded or shaved.) There's no genderf**k going on or political/social commentary being made. The identity I feel I'm expressing is my inward prissiness. I've even had the interesting experience of meeting someone at a Caledon social event and hoping that he'll carefully read my profile in order to find out that I, too, am a gay man. (I would hope that my captivating wit and conversational sparkle might interest someone in a deeper relationship--a relationship based on the RL people behind the avatars, not on the avatar personae.)

Well, as I said, you've given me a lot to think about, and this is still a reflection in process. I will certainly imagine a much broader range of possibilities the next time someone identifies as TG. Thank you for that!